Who is that new Game of Thrones Character and why is he important?

Last week we saw a new character– some would say an old character– come in and save the day. It looked like Bran was going to die and that there was no way out, but all of a sudden some BMF swooped in to save the day. Awesome right?

But who is this masked man?

Yes, yes, yes. He showed himself to be Benjen Stark and explained that he was saved by the Children of the Forest. That’s all well and good, but even though we’ve mostly moved past the written books this dude was in the books.

Benjen/Coldhands is more than just Benjen Stark returned to help out his nephews. I could go on and on about how I don’t think that Benjen is really THE Coldhands and that the show has just thrown Benjen in as Coldhands bc they didn’t want to add a new character in the mix, but I’ll not say anything about that.

In the books Coldhands is a very mysterious character. He shows up in the nick of time to save Sam and Gilly, riding an elk, calling Sam “Brother” (aka he was probably a brother of the Night’s Watch at some point), and then has Sam get Bran, Meera, Jojen and Hodor (sob) safely through the Night’s Fort to the other side of the wall. He navigated them through the North Beyond the Wall to the Three Eyed Crow and managed to do so without killing Jojen.

Throughout the journey North though they realize that Coldhands is dead yet he doesn’t have the blue eyes of the wights, can talk and obviously is very intelligent. So now that Coldhands/Benjen/YetAnotherStarkThatWeThoughtWasDead is back what does that mean for the Bran/Jon/Sansa?

Will he help turn the tide against Ramsey Snow? Where is Bran going now that he’s left the Three Eyed Crow  Raven? Why the #@#$ did they have to kill off Summer?

A few good thoughts to leave you with:

The Umber’s have given up Rickon to Ramsey, but in the books they are hinted at as being double agents that don’t like or trust The Bastard. So I have my finger’s crossed that that wolf’s head wasn’t really Shaggydog (maybe a died Grey Wind?) and that the Umber’s are playing their own–right now unknown–angle that will be BA.

My other theory that is helping me sleep at night is that Arya will see the Waif coming after her through an animal’s eyes (please be a cat) and wake up just in time to stab her with Needle.

The reappearance of the Frey’s gives me hope that they are about to get what’s coming to them. Perhaps some Frey Pie?

And finally Sansa is an idiot. (Oh that wasn’t a good thought?)

Can you spot all the confirmed fan theories in Game of Thrones: Home?

I know you think I’m going to focus on the main confirmed theory, but of course I’m going to save that for last.

Lyanna

OK so maybe this wasn’t a fan theory, but we don’t know a whole lot about Lyanna that hasn’t be told to us. In the first book we hear stories from Robert that make her sound like a sweet virgin that was attacked by a spoiled prince. Ned’s memories are tinted by grief and shrouded by mystery.

So we finally get to see Lyanna and witness for ourselves that she’s not some simpering lady that would get taken advantage of. Instead she’s a fierce woman like Arya and doesn’t seem like someone that would need much help.

Maybe then we’ll get R+L=J confirmed next week. Lyanna seems more like someone that would let the world burn around her to be with the one she loves. I need that to be true.

Important side crap

Where is Brandon in the flashback? Ned wasn’t the first heir of Winterfell and the show has kind of ignored the fact that the Mad King not only killed Brandon, he also killed Ned’s father.

Old Nan is who grabs Hodor/Wylis and pulls him away from the fight. It’s alluded to in the book that Nan is hundreds of years old and has some magic knowledge.

Hodor

Hodor.

They show Hodor young and able to talk. There’s a fan theory that Hodor was somehow traumatized when Lyanna died or during the war and that’s why he just says Hodor. Maybe the show is buying in to that and I’ll be interested if they do. This isn’t a theory that I hate, but I also don’t love it.

Random Facts

In the books Hodor’s real name is Walder and Old Nan tells them that. But that would have made like the millionth Walder so I understand why the show wanted to change the name.

Wun Wun

Wun Wun is the name of the giant– you know the one that decided to smoosh some people this episode. He’s a little more prominent in the books and I had a theory that Jon gained control of him to try to get help when he was attacked, but they didn’t got that way on the show.

However I’m happy that they involved him in Jon’s rescue. Wun Wun was proof that everything that people found scary Beyond the Wall weren’t as bad as they seemed. He was trying to learn to speak and adapting to the environment.

Ser Robert Strong

It’s been suspected that Ser Robert  (the huge quiet knight that likes to kill) is the Mountain in zombie form that Qyburn has revived. The books never really confirm it, but they hint strongly to it.

The show jumps right into this theory though and pretty much confirm that Ser Robert is the Mountain. I wonder if Qyburn has a backdoor control on his monster that will backfire on Cersei though (I hope so).

The High Sparrow

There is a running theory that he is Howland Reed (Meera and Jojen’s dad who was at the Tower of Joy with Ned Stark.

The thought is that he is taking down the people who killed his friend (Ned) through the church. I go back and forth with this theory, but we should find out more about Howland next week when Bran has visions of what really happened at the Tower of Joy (I’m sure it was all really cheerful happy things).

Tyrion is a Targaryen

OK so stay with me for a moment. In the books Prince Quentyn tries to do what Tyrion does in this episode– fully expecting the Targaryen blood he has to help him control the dragons. Instead the dragons are freed and and Quentyn dies a horrible fire-y death.

However there is a huge theory that Tyrion is not Tywin’s son, but instead is the result of either an affair with the Mad King and Tywin’s wife or that she was raped by him. There are many posts that back this theory up and just as many that refute it.

It is also known that if you have dragon’s blood in you that the dragon’s will trust you (Dany actually gets betrayed by someone because of this).  (It is known).

he’s about to write a book about the serving class of Mereen pooping in pies

In walks Tyrion who calmly (or at least a hell of a lot calmer than me) talks to the dragons– says they are totes besties and then removes their chains. All without getting burned or eaten.

So did the show just confirm that Tyrion is a Targaryen? Or is he just well versed in Dragonlore? Will he be the third dragon rider (I already have the other two picked out).

More Random Book Thoughts

Quentyn dies trying to free the dragons, but he frees the all the same. Leaving them to terrorize the area and do what they want. My theory is that the white dragon (Viserion) is on his way to the Wall to meet his rider there.

So did Tyrion just let the dragons all the way go and can Viserion go meet up with his Dragonrider now?

Arya

I already talked about how much Arya and Lyanna are alike and we see a beaten, but not at all broken Arya this episode. There aren’t any theories confirmed for Arya this episode, but I’m getting disappointed on the things that they are leaving out about Arya.

In the books she learned how to warg while she was blind so that she could still see what was going on around her. She also is dreaming nightly of her wolf and has her pack pull her mother out of the river after The Red Wedding. I hate that they are leaving these parts out because you don’t see all the growth that she’s experiencing. Also they’ve not done a good job explaining that all the Starks (except Sansa) have the warging ability (Sansa probably did have that, but then her wolf died and she’s also stupid).

So I’m holding out until Arya wargs into a cat to spy on people.

and everyone wants this again

The Bastard

OK so there aren’t any theories confirmed here either, but there is some glorious murdering— and some really really sick murdering.

The Greyjoy’s

OK the sh*t is about the hit the fan here, but I didn’t like it in the books and can’t say that I’m enjoying watching it either. Everyone from there is grouchy, dirty and an all around piece of crap. But stuff happens. And I guess it’s important.

What you need to get from this

The Kingsmoot is kinda where they will vote on who will rule next. Imagine the current election, but with more threat of murder.

Jon *$%^#% Snow

Here’s the main event. Ever since the 5th book was released there have been theories flying around that the Red Woman would bring him back, or that some other magic would save him. Now it finally happened!

Melisandre makes a big show of a prayer and a ritual used to revive Jon, but did that really do it? Is that what saved him or did some other magic save him? Was the ritual necessary or just her faith that her god could do this that saved Jon? Or did some warg/Northern magic save Jon and the timing is just a coincidence? The only other revival we’ve seen like that was done by just a short prayer whispered in the ear of the the deceased.

Will Jon be the same?

I really think that Jon was never all the way gone because if he had been Ghost I think would have left his body. As it was he protected him until he came back to it.

Next week we will finally get to learn about the Tower of Joy and what went down there.

 

 

Supernatural: Angel Heart. Wait– there are even worse Angels?

This week we took a break from the search for the cure and were introduced to an even bigger scum bag of an Angel then we have seen previously. Well except for Metatron. This was a good solid episode where the boys aren’t just out killing everything in sight. They actually had to work through a case, do research and help an innocent.

Here are a few questions I have though:

Why can’t Cas find Claire?

I’ve never understood all the ins and outs of the angels falling. Cas can now heal people and has his Grace back soooo what else does that grant him? Does getting your Grace back just mean now that you’re a healer and that’s it? When the Angels were looking for Sam and Dean during the apocalypse they could find them through prophets and dreams. Why can’t they use Cas to help locate Claire?  I can buy that Claire’s mom Amelia (they really love that name don’t they) is somehow hidden because Angels and magic and stuff. Also did the fall of Heaven affect this rouge douchbag angel at all?

Why is everyone freaking out about Dean?

Ummmm I don’t think Dean beat that dude up because of the Mark. I’m pretty sure he would have done all that Mark or no Mark. The guy was a piece of crap that hurt a little girl. I’m pretty sure that’s a good enough reason in Sam or Dean’s book. Everyone keeps bringing up how out of control Dean is getting, but really since he went crazy and killed all those people the last time they saved Claire I haven’t seen anything out of the ordinary. Dean’s always been the one to shoot first and ask questions later.

I see nothing wrong with this.

I’m glad that Claire got to see the boys when they weren’t just killing people.

Yep Claire– pretty much everyone you meet in this world has a horrible back story too.

OK I know this isn’t a question about plot, but I’m glad that Claire got to see the boys and Cas in a different light. They aren’t always massacring huge groups of people or heavenly beings. Sam got to help Claire learn how to live out on her own and Dean helped her have a little fun in a scary and stressful time. The addition of Claire to Jody Mill’s household also makes me really hope there will be a spin off in that direction.

Is it just me or did Claire look proud when Dean told her Jimmy was a hero?

For all her hatred of Castiel I think she keeps coming back to him (even if she acts like she doesn’t want to) because she loved her father. So now she has confirmation that he really was the great man she remembers and not some jackass that left her and her mother for no reason. He did it to save not only her, but the world.

It was nice to see them show off their ability to survive– not just come in a slaughter.

Sam got knocked out– it looked bad for him, but we got to see him figure it out. He got out of a really bad situation and still helped save the day. And Dean figured out the guys needed help and instead of just rushing in to help he found out what he was facing and went in informed. Once again– I think Dean is doing great. Better now even than pre Mark of Cain.

Is there a reason Claire killed the angel and not Dean?

I know he’s trying to not hulk out, but would it have done something to the Mark if he’d killed an Angel? He’s killed them before– preMark, but I wondered if there was a reason Claire had the honors here. Or maybe it just gave her an opportunity to strike back against a group that tore apart her family. Metatron really wanted to make Dean kill him though so that leads me to believe that if Dean kills an Angel even if that angel is a total tool it will do something irreparable to Dean.

Is Amelia’s fake heaven that much different then her real one?

Did anyone else think it was super creepy that her fake heaven and her real heaven were so much alike? Is there something fundamentally messed up about Heaven too?  Or was that just her desires were finally real? I know one thing though– Misha killed it.

I’m sure that’s not the last we’ve seen of Claire or her stolen Angel Sword, and I will just be over here holding out hope for that Jody Mills spinoff.

Game of Thrones: High Sparrow. The one where they throw the books out the window– like Bran.

This week’s episode shows us what they meant when they said they were changing things from the books. They totally weren’t kidding about that.

Arya

She is striving to become no one yet she is holding onto her anger and her past. She continues her prayers and her hoard of treasures that she gathered since her escape from King’s Landing. Jaqen H’ghar is very mysterious here talking about how A Man behaves and who A Man is. I feel like I should start talking like that. “A Woman needs you to take out the trash.” That works right?

There is a young blind girl– or what appears to be a young blind girl who works there who begins to hit Arya when she questions her. Before Arya can kill her though Jaqen points out to her that Arya cannot become a faceless man while still holding on to her name. This leads Aray to throw away all her belongings– well all of them but Needle which she stashes in a crevice.

I’m so glad they left this scene in– in fact I’m going to just quote the book:

“It’s just a stupid sword,” she said, aloud this time…
… but it wasn’t.
Needle was Robb and Bran and Rickon, her mother and her father, even Sansa. Needle was Winterfell’s grey walls, and the laughter of its people. Needle was the summer snows, Old Nan’s stories, the heart tree with its red leaves and scary face, the warm earthy smell of the glass gardens, the sound of the north wind rattling the shutters of her room. Needle was Jon Snow’s smile.”
― George R.R. Martin, A Feast for Crows

I feel like if she had given up Needle that she would have been lost for good. One other thing that the show hasn’t done well with Arya is show that she’s still having wolf dreams. This whole time she’s been living through her wolf at night– seeing what she sees and killing with her. Unlike Sansa, who lost her wolf, Arya is still connected to the North through her wolf. And through Needle.

Later on Jaqen takes her to learn how to clean the dead and starts her on her journey to become a faceless man. Which is important too, but not as many feels as the scene with Needle.

Margaery and Tommen

First of all– gross. If we want to cover departures from the books this is one of those. In the books Tommen is a whopping 8 or 9 years old and his favorite thing to do is stamping his royal seal on documents. So obviously they don’t consummate their marriage. Actually Cersei tries to frame Margaery later on in the books for cheating on Tommen. She assumes that an older woman would have a sexual appetite and although she might be right– it back fires on her just a bit. So although some of the resulting scenes are hilarious after their wedding night all I could think was– wow that’s disgusting. I know in the show he’s older, but still not that much older.

Margaery is an amazing manipulator though. She takes Tommen’s virginity and then pushes all the right buttons to begin to push Cersei out of the way. Cersei tries to do the same to Tommen the next day, but he turns it around on her. He’s begun talking about sending her away and that scares Cersei more than anything. Sorry mom– I’m pretty sure that the carrot is going to do a lot more than the stick in this instance. And once again even that analogy grosses me out. He’s a little boy.

Cut to Cersei interrupting Margaery talking about all the sex that she had last night with her child husband. Other than the child molestery comments Margaery is perfection. She issues barb after barb in Cersei’s direction. She mentions over and over again how old Cersei is and how she isn’t of any importance anymore. Well played Margaery, well played. Even if you did just have gross sex.

Disgustingly well played

Reek

It rhymes with meek. And grossed out. Poor Theon. The changes to show from the books have actually been in Theon’s favor– I hope for Sansa’s sake that it continues that way.

Sansa

Littlefinger has arranged for Sansa to marry Ramsey Snow Bolton and then stands uncomfortably close to convince her to go through with it. The only thing I can hope is that his speech about avenging her family means that he’s going to take the part of Lord Manderly from the books and is really plotting against the Boltons. After all Roose Bolton had a big hand in killing Caitlin Stark– the woman he truly loved.

This is the first huge departure I’ve seen this season from the books. In the books the Lannisters send “Arya Stark” to marry Ramsey Bolton. The Arya they have is a childhood friend of Sansa though that is just pretending to be Arya. Horrible. horrible things happen to this pretender and her situation leads Jon Snow into making decisions that are detrimental to his health. So I’m curious to see where they are going with this.

But in the show Sansa ends up back at Winterfell and Ramsey’s bitches (his term for them) look on– knowing what her fate will be if she marries Ramsey.

Pod and Brienne

We get to hear more of their back stories and we see why these two are how they are. Brienne has been horribly mistreated all her life because of her size and build. Brienne was loyal to Renly because of his actions towards her and I think we all can empathize with that sentiment.

Pod was similarly saved by the Lannisters because of his heritage (Pod is the relative of Ser Ilyn Payne– the King’s Justice who in the books received the Stark’s Valyrian steel sword, Ice. Until it gets melted down into 2 swords that is). He talks of his time with Tyrion with fondness as he’s one of the few  people that has seen Tyrion for what he is worth.

This was a nice scene for all the feels– and to keep us from forgetting about these two.

Jon Snow

He’s now the Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch and is still receiving pressure from Stannis to take Winterfell. Stannis then announces that he is going to march on Winterfell and they discuss the fate of the Wildlings. I have to say I was glad when he left though and he talked to Davos. Davos has a similar sense of honor, but with a pirate/smuggler feel to it and I feel like this is the first real conversation Jon has had with any of Stannis’ camp.

We are mostly on par with what happened in the books here with just a little less detail. This is one of the stories that I don’t understand why they are speeding up. Unless it’s just because the scenes at The Wall are dark and depressing.

Jon later splits up duties assigning a few menial duties and naming Ser Alliser first Ranger. He then tries to assign one of the broken down tower to Lord Janos Slynt. Slynt refuses which doesn’t go quite like he expected it to. Jon beheads him there in the yard for all to see. But really what other choice did he have? Here are some more book excerpts to explain the situation better:

Alliser Thorne smiled a thin smile, his black eyes fixed on Jon. At another table, Godry the Giantslayer began to laugh. “As you will.” Jon nodded to Iron Emmett. “Please take Lord Janos to the Wall— ”

and confine him to an ice cell , he might have said. A day or ten cramped up inside the ice would leave him shivering and feverish and begging for release, Jon did not doubt. And the moment he is out, he and Thorne will begin to plot again . And tie him to his horse , he might have said. If Slynt did not wish to go to Greyguard as its commander, he could go as its cook. It will only be a matter of time until he deserts, then. And how many others will he take with him?

“— and hang him,” Jon finished

Of course that’s not exactly how it ended:

“He would not dare to hang me. Janos Slynt has friends, important friends, you’ll see …” The wind whipped away the rest of his words.

This is wrong , Jon thought. “Stop.” Emmett turned back, frowning. “My lord?”

“I will not hang him,” said Jon. “Bring him here.”
“Oh, Seven save us,” he heard Bowen Marsh cry out. The smile that Lord Janos Slynt smiled then had all the sweetness of rancid butter.

Until Jon said, “Edd, fetch me a block,” and unsheathed Longclaw.

Jon really shows off how perfect he is from here on out. Which of course bodes well right?

I totally wouldn’t want to cut someone’s head off.

The High Sparrow

The High Septon is drug out of a brothel naked and made to walk back in front of everyone nude. He goes to complain to the small council and Cersei sees it as an opportunity to put someone in her debt into the High Septon’s place. So she goes to find the “High Sparrow” or the leader of the refugees that have come into the city.

He is a devout man that follows the law perfectly and stands by what he did to the High Septon. She behaves that she totally agrees and has arrested the High Septon and thinks that her and the Sparrows are on the same page. This will be important later.

In the books the High Septon was actually pulled to pieces during the riots and his crown stolen. The church then flounders for a while and shows it’s corruption while trying to find a new High Septon. This leaves it primed for the Sparrows to step in and take control– which they do.

I was shown a theory about the High Sparrow that I had somehow missed and I really really hope that it ends up to be true. I’ll just post it here though and tell me what you think. That would just be amazing.

We also get a glimpse of Qyburn’s project and are given the impression that he’s working on a Frankenstein like monster– which isn’t too far off.

He is special.

Tyrion

He utters his famous last words about how everything will be fine and he’ll blend in. Which of course he doesn’t at all. They take in a speech from the League of Assassins– I mean a Red Priestess and Tyrion of course draws her attention. So they follow that up with a restful evening at a brothel. A brothel that just happens to have Jorah Mormont in it as well. As soon as he can he snags Tyrion and proclaims he’s going to take Tyrion to the Queen. Now some watchlings might hear that and think that Jorah is going to take Tyrion to Cersei so he can reclaim his home and his title. However they’d be hella wrong. That is unless HBO is taking a huge left turn and really changing the story. Jorah is going to try to take Tyrion to Dany and try win her favor back.

As far as what’s happening on the show versus what’s happening in the books they’ve cut out about half a book’s worth of what Tyrion was doing. I’m not really sure why they did that since they are basing these shows on books that are running out of content. You’d think they’d flesh out what material they have instead, but I’m not in charge of this show obviously so I wonder if they are going to bring it around full circle or if this is one of the areas they also make big changes. We’ll see next week!

Cause Jorah just has ball gags laying around. . .for reasons.

Supernatural: The Executioner’s Song. The One Where I Was Sadly Proven Correct

So a while back I made this prediction about Dean when he took on the Mark. This seems like a huge thing for everyone to be ignoring. The Mark of Cain came from one brother killing another so if Dean has the Mark. . .

However up to this point Cain gave Dean the Mark and then took a hike. Yeah they talk about him every now and then, but they’ve avoided this one huge point. We start this episode finally getting to see him again and we see him killing a horrible nasty murderer on death row. So far I don’t have many issues with that. Plus Cain looks pretty amazing. Life off the farm has done him well. His hair alone is pretty fabulous.

So we now have a mystery to solve, but more importantly we have a reason for Dean and Cain to meet up again.

Cut to Crowley and Mom. Rowena is definitely trying to manipulate Crowley still. I don’t quite get her end game. She’s causing issues in his court, but if he is weakened she will also be weakened. She needs to die. . .soon, but I’ll come back to that later. She tries to get Crowley to kill her enemies for her and even though he sees through it he still seems like he’s going to do it. She also does her best to cause strife between the Winchesters and him. Which isn’t that hard since their working relationship has never been smooth sailing.

Meanwhile Sam and Dean have figured out that Cain is killing whole families and while they are telling that to Cas Cain shows up. Once again I really like Cain. He’s killing people like crazy, but unlike other crazed demons we’ve seen in seasons past he’s not killing because he’s enjoying it. He’s killing because he sees it as his duty. And he doesn’t want to kill people that aren’t on his list of descendants. BTW that would be so many people. That long ago his descendants would be a crazy amount of people. Which they touch on, but still— so many people. One might even say that he’s on a mission from God, Blues Brother’s Style.

Finally the boys figure out where Cain is headed next and they prepare for a battle between Dean and Cain. They do this by pulling Crowley in to help (and by lying to him in the process which just help’s out Rowena’s case) and by using some misdirection to trap him. Long story short he is trapped and Dean comes in to finish him off.

This is where it gets interesting. Cain puts up a good fight, but is it just me or does his heart not seem in it. I’m just saying with the power we’ve seen from Cain it seems like he should have been able to make short work of Dean. So maybe he just wanted to talk to Dean before getting him to take his life. Cain has lost his family, his love, and now his humanity again. The only way he can control himself is to live in isolation. I don’t blame him for wanting all of that to end. So even though the boys have won this fight I don’t think they were ever meant to lose it. Cain seems almost bored with this turn of events.

But what he revealed is what is most important. He finally said what I’ve worried about all this time. Dean taking on the Mark means that he will eventually kill Sam. What I found interesting is that Cain states that Dean will kill Crowley first, then Castiel, then finally Sam, So here’s my new prediction: Crowley is about to die. Once Dean kills him it will cause Dean to panic and really try to find a cure (which they already know if they would just think hard). Other reasons I think Crowley is about to dies are: the writers don’t seem to know what to do with Crowley these days. He’s not near the bad guy he used to be and with his control over demons that whole storyline has kind of fallen to the wayside.Also Rowena is undermining his power which will come to no good end.

As much as I don’t want Crowley to die it feels like the way things are moving.

Although I’m sure it was detrimental to Dean’s mental health to kill Cain I feel like it was more because he wanted to believe that he could keep the Mark under control and everything that happened up in that loft told him that he was doomed to go down the same horrible path that Cain had gone down.

Sam is really worried about Dean now so maybe he really does see the writing on the wall.  I know Sam will do everything he can to help Dean so hopefully he’ll get Rowena or Crowley to cast a less extreme age spell on Dean to get rid of this curse.

I can only hope.

What do you think? Will Dean kill Crowley? Will they finally put together the answer that is right in front of their face?

Tyrion Lannister: Impin’ ain’t easy

Tyrion never had it easy. Tyrion is the third child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister and even if he’d been born “normal” I think he would have still had a hard life. Cersei and Jaime were nine by the time Tyrion came around and has been established that they already had a physical relationship by this point. I feel that any new sibling no matter how perfect would have been seen as an interloper.  Cersei and Jaime always were their own thing. Cersei sees Jaime as her’s and no one else can have him. A bratty younger brother definitely wouldn’t have been welcome, but a deformed “monster” that killed their mother in childbirth? Yeah, he was screwed from the get go.

Tyrion was constantly belittled and berated by his father and openly mocked and hated by his sister. The only love he found was from his brother Jaime and the only respect was from people that were paid to do his bidding. This loneliness shapes who he will become.  He sympathizes with others that have similarly been treated unfairly or are being used because of their weaknesses (Jon Snow, the Night’s Watch, various whores, Tommen, Sansa Stark, etc.).

There are a few events that I feel really shaped Tyrion’s life and the biggest one of those being his very short marriage at the age of 13.  He and Jaime saved a girl named Tysha from men out on the open road and that began a relationship between that two that culminated in a secret marriage.  Once Tywin found out about the marriage he exposed the girl as a whore that had been hired by Jaime and then proceeded to have her passed around by his guards paying her a silver coin for each and then having Tyrion do the same, but pay her in a gold coin since he was a Lannister.

I think this episode in his life showed him that happiness isn’t real and that he could never trust anyone, but Jaime when it came to love and loyalty.  It also showed him, once again, that his father harbored no love for him.

He sees Jaime as his only true friend and protector (from the few back-stories they tell about Tyrion as a child Jaime repeatedly stood up for him against his sister) and I think that that made Jaime’s lack of support during his trial that much harder to process for Tyrion.  Jaime had never been pushed so hard to choose between Cersei and Tyrion, much less Cersei and Tywin vs Tyrion and Tyrion sees Jaime’s actions as choosing Tywin and Cersei over him.

Before Tyrion’s scheduled execution Jaime forces Varys to assist in freeing him.  During his escape Jaime admits to Tyrion that the woman he met at 13 and that he married wasn’t really a whore, but may have possibly really loved him. This revelation shakes him to the core and I feel that it pushed him over the edge where his father was concerned. Now here we begin to step into theory land.  There is a line of thought that Oberyn Martell poisoned Tywin Lannister before his death and that was the reason that he was on the toilet when Tyrion went to kill him. The poison that it is thought he used was one that traps all toxins in the body until the person dies.  There is also a theory that Tyrion had guessed The Viper’s actions and that’s why he wasn’t surprised that Tywin was in the privy. OK to continue. . .

Tyrion then goes and finds his father’s chambers only to find Shea naked in Tywin’s bed– yet another betrayal by someone he thought loved him.  He quickly strangles her and then goes to find his father.  After asking his father about where his first wife went after Tywin threw her away Tywin replied with, “Wherever whores go.” This phrase continues to haunt Tyrion during his exile.

Catch phrase: Wherever whores go.

Theories

There are quite a few theories about Tyrion and I can’t say that I’ve decided whether I buy them or not. I’ll cover the one that I buy somewhat and you’re more than welcome of fall down the rabbit hole that is the Internet if you want to see some of the others.

Tyrion is a secret Targaryen. So the theory is that Aerys attacked/seduced Joanna Lannister and got her pregnant with Tyrion. The groundwork for this is that Semly told Daenerys that Aerys offended Tywin during the bedding portion of the reception by taking certain liberties while disrobing Joanna.  Semly also stated that he didn’t necessarily love Joanna Lannister more than he loved his wife, but wanted her. We then know that there was a desire for her, we know that he was crazy, and we know that he felt entitled to what he wanted.

Issues

Why would Tywin have continued as Aerys’ Hand? Why would Tywin not have acknowledged Tyrion as a bastard especially                 since he was a source of embarrassment? If Joanna was attacked why didn’t she go immediately to Tywin for protection?                       Why wouldn’t Tywin have used Tyrion for his own gains if he truly is have Targaryen?

OK so my thought is that Tywin is not afraid of playing the long game.  So maybe he didn’t know for sure, but only suspected that Tyrion wasn’t his. Or perhaps he knew if he left the service of the king he would never be able to exact revenge (NOTE: he did leave Aerys after Jaime was chosen to be a member of the Kingsguard, but maybe he thought that he would lose all if he remained with Aerys). — I don’t like any of this much at all.

Perhaps instead this scenario:

Aerys attacked/seduced/demanded sex from Joanna once or numerous times.  She was afraid to ask for help from Tywin because she knew what his reaction would be and she knew that Aerys wouldn’t hesitate to kill Tywin. I can think of all kinds of things that could have been held over her, threats against her twins, threats against Tywin, knowledge that if Tywin was killed that Aerys would have had even more control over her. Once she was finally able to get away and back to Casterly Rock she discovered that she was pregnant.  Perhaps a failed abortion attempt resulted in Tyrion’s deformity? We do not know where Joanna was during conception, but we do know that she was at Casterly Rock with the twins while pregnant. After abortion didn’t work the knowledge of the true father was kept a secret to protect her husband and her children.

The most interesting part of this theory to me is the fact that Joanna died after childbirth. This is similar to Lyanna (if you buy the R+L=J theory which is widely accepted) as well and Rhella (Daenerys’ mother).  It is known that a dragon must be made with a death (it is known) so if Tyrion, Daenerys, and Jon are the three heads of the dragon, their lives were bought with their mother’s deaths.

There are other small things thrown it, he dreamed of dragons, always wanted a dragon, learned as much as he could about dragons, from what we’ve learned about Rhaegar I feel like they have similar core values, and he has mismatched eyes.  There are other Targaryen bastards that had this trait so possibly it is just a trait of his dwarfism, but also maybe it’s a trait of his heritage. Tywin also repeatedly says that Tyrion is not his son and when Tyrion asked for Casterly Rock he states that he can’t prove that Tyrion isn’t his and that’s why he is allowed to wear his colors, but he will never have the Rock.

Part of me wishes this theory is true– I’d love to see Tyrion become a head of the dragon and be appreciated by more that just the readers.  I also feel like all this might be a red herring thrown out by GRRM.

What are your thoughts? Do you think this theory is a bunch of crap or do you buy it?

I believe we can all agree that Tyrion has had a rough life and it appears that it’s just going to get rougher.

Jaqen H’ghar: A Man Must Have a Backstory

Jaqen H’ghar

The Man:

Jaqen shows up for the first time in the group of recruits taken from Kings Landing to go serve on the Wall.  He was one of three that were taken from the “black cells” in the dungeon– where only the worst criminals were kept.  He and the other two are kept in a cage during the time they were traveling with Yoren and the others.

Of Jaqen’s crimes we know nothing.  He appears as a criminal and obviously a bad one.  The other two, although they look more ferocious, appear to be scared of Jaqen (maybe the . After helping Arya get away from Harrenhall he changes his appearance magically, gives Arya that coin that gets her to Braavos and then disappears. It seems that he went to Oldtown and kills a Citadel novice named Pate and takes his place.

Catch phrase:  A man [knows, needs a name, needs a face, must die]

Theories: Ok there are a few big ones here, but my favorite is that Jaqen and Syrio Forel are one in the same.  Syrio is from Braavos and Jaqen sends Arya on the road to Braavos so that she can become one of the Faceless too (or at least have the opportunity to train as one).  It never states that Syrio was killed by Meryn Trant only that he slowed Arya’s would be captors down long enough for her to get away.  Therefore if he wasn’t killed, but just captured, he would have been placed in the Black Cells .  The Black Cells are reserved for only the most dangerous criminals which  Syrio definitely would have been classified as if he had been able to kill all those guards and continue to fight a member of the Kingsguard without a sword.

So say that Syrio was placed in the Black Cells, then changed his appearance once he got there (or once he realized he had a way out with Yoren) then became Jaqen H’ghar.  Jaqen definitely shows a good bit of interest in Arya even when she was disguised as a boy.  Arya says that Jaqen was like Syrio, but different so maybe she even saw it even though she didn’t know what she was seeing.

Now why would a faceless man be working as a dancing master for the Starks?  Perhaps he was just in the area and thought it would be advantageous to take the offered job.  Or maybe he was in King’s Landing to assassinate someone and a position in the Hand of the King’s household helped him gain access.  Or perhaps Varys placed him in the Stark household for his own reasons. Whichever way, I feel that Syrio/Jaqen would see it as his duty to protect Arya when the Lannisters came to seize her.

Continuing on with this theory, if they are the same person then Syrio has already once freed Arya which left her on her own and vulnerable so I could see why he wouldn’t want to try to free her from the relative safety of Harrenhall.  True she was beaten and mistreated, but she was fed and clothed.  Life on the Kingsroad was fraught with more peril than that.

It is established in both Bran’s storyline and Jon Snow’s storyline that wargs can sense each other once they know what to look for so perhaps Syrio felt this power in the Starks which increased his desire to assist Arya survive. Even if the theory is complete bunk Jaqen would have seen it in Arya and maybe his assassination of Weese via dog was an attempt to have her reveal her power to him.

After Arya tricked him into freeing her Jaqen may have felt his debt/responsibility to her house was finished which would explain his giving her the coin and then leaving her instead of helping her safely to her family.

There is one more theory about Jaqen that I feel is worth a mention.  Some think that he is Daario Naharis. I see some possibility to this theory, he appears after Arya is freed from Harrenhall, but I also see a lot of issues.  He is the commander of the Stormcrows and yes he could have worked his way up the ladder with well placed killings, but this seems like it would have been a lengthy process.  So if he is Daario I see no way he could also be the man appearing as Pate in Oldtown.  I feel like it would be a one or the other situation and don’t feel so confident with all of Daario’s actions as to think he is the same person as the cunning Jaqen or the talented Syrio.

What do you think?  Total crap or plausible? Do you have other theories about Jaqen?

 

The Lion and The Rose: The Purple Wedding

Another week and another Game of Thrones wedding.  Let’s just go ahead and say if you have not watched last night’s episode stop reading now!  As always this post will be full to the brim of spoilers so you have been warned.

The Lovely Couple

Before we start with the wedding lovelies let’s talk about all the other random scenes that didn’t seem important now. Well at least to those who don’t know what’s coming.  The episode started out with a hunt involving The Bastard Ramsey Snow, some chick named Miranda that I for the life of me can’t place who she is or where she’s come from, Reek– the artist formally known as Theon Greyjoy and their prey– a poor, short lived girl.

We got to see the girl get chased down, shot by Miranda and then get eaten to death by Ramsey’s dogs.  The changes in Reek are very obvious in this episode.  He’s timid, beaten, and too scared to fight back.  As much as I hated Theon he never deserved all that The Bastard has done to him.

Stepping outside of the box though I just want to say the actor that plays The Bastard (Iwan Rheon) is one of my favorite actors.  He was both parts creepy and heroic on Misfits and I’m both scared and excited to see him continue with this role.  He will be one of the great villains this story needs.

Things you need to know about The Bastard:  He’s scary (yeah I know you know that).  Scary as in he scares Roose Bolton and if you can scare a man that would kill his King at a Wedding in exchange for Winterfell that’s saying something.  Also there has been a ton of torture and nastiness that you haven’t gotten to see.  He’s also about to have a wedding, at least if they stick to the books, however not as exciting a one as you’d hope.

We also got to see Bran this go round and feel his frustration.  One thing they did show, but I don’t think explain well was what happened when Bran touched the Heart Tree.  So:

What you need to know about Bran:  when he is hooked up to the Weirwood he can see what any heart tree has seen, wherever, whenever.  There’s a lot more to it then that, but that’s why he saw his dad and all those other images.

We also see some scenes with The Red Witch and Stannis.  Stannis’ wife is gleefully watching her brother burn to death.  Needless to say there are some issues there, but mostly we are just being reminded that they still exist and stuff is about to happen there.

Now let’s move on to the hard stuff.  Cathy will join me for this part of the discussion.

I found this next set of images on Tumblr and I thought it showed more than I could explain:

This photo set speaks to a book theory that I’ll talk about at the end, but I thought it was fitting here.

How many of you cheered out loud at the end of this episode?

Joffrey (Lannister) Baratheon 286AL-300AL

“Golden lads and girls all must, as chimney-sweepers, come to dust. “ Cymbeline (1611), Act IV, scene 2. Song, line 262.

Cathy:

I remember throwing the book across the room when I read the Red Wedding, and I refused to continue reading for a few days. In stark contrast, never in all of literature or film have I ever been happier when a character died than when Joffrey did.

I relished in the happiness until I realized that Tyrion was going to be blamed for his death. Oddly enough, Tryion’s journey after this moment is one of my favorite character subplots. I’m very excited to see how the show portrays his journey.

Joffrey dying is going to have the same effect as Ned dying.  The storylines of the denizens of Westeros are going to be shaken up, people will be scattered across the realm, and much chaos will ensue.  I for one cannot wait.

If you’ve read the books, you know who slipped Joffrey the poison. If not, I won’t spoil it. One detail I noticed was that after Joffrey cuts the pie with the sword, the camera focuses on some dead birds in the pie. I was wondering if that was a clue that the poison in the show’s version was in the pie, not the wine as it is in the book. I’m not a stickler for keeping everything the same between show and book, if it was in the pie, then that’s a fun little change for the show. We shall see.

OK me again.  Joffery needed to die. So therefore I was worried that he therefore would live a long and happy life killing whores in his room with crossbows.  Once again I’m going to issue a warning.  If you are a watchling (aka someone who hasn’t read the books) I’d recommend you stop reading now as I’m going to throw out some theories that if you haven’t read through book 5 will ruin some things for you.

I’ll give you time to navigate away and just post this other awesome photo set:

So much emotion.  Too bad in reality Sansa is still a clueless twat.

OK back to those theories and spoilers.  We see Margaery’s grandmother go up and straighten Sansa’s necklace (which took place of the hairnet in the books) and what I didn’t notice last night, but expected was this:

We see a jewel missing from Sansa’s necklace.  A jewel that is in fact the poison that kills Joffery.  My assumption?  The grandmother takes the jewel here, then passes it off to Margaery  who slips it in Joff’s cup between his drink before cutting the pie and the drink he has after his first bite.  After all Margaery is the one that takes the cup from Joff and sets it down on the table while the pie is being cut.

Ser Dontos runs off with Sansa setting her off on her next adventure.  An adventure full of just as much excitement as before.

So about what I said about the Tyrion/Sansa photoset.  It is stated in the books numerous times anytime someone is exceptionally gallant that they are like Rhaegar.  Jamie and Cersei have little honor (Jamie much more than Cersei), Tywin has absolutely no honor either.  So where does Tyrion’s honor and sense of morality come from?

In the books it’s stated that The Mad King was unduly interested in Tywin’s late wife and that Tywin resigned as Hand quickly and returned to Casterly Rock.  My thoughts?  Perhaps the Mad King raped or more likely had an affair with Tywin’s wife and Tyrion is the result of that.  The holes in this theory are that I would think that Tywin would have killed Tyrion as an infant if that was the case, but also Tywin is in it for the long game so maybe Tyrion was meant to be kept as insurance against the Targaryens.

Tyrion does talk about his fascination with dragons a lot so perhaps one of Dany’s dragons will end up being his.

What are your thoughts on my theories?  I have many many more– mostly involving Jon Snow– but we’ll get to those later.

 

 

Up next: Where is Dontos taking Sansa, what will happen to Tyrion, who else is going to die?

Join us again next week!

 

Major Character Deaths: 1

Boob Count: 0 (WHAT?!)

The GREATEST “A Song of Ice and Fire” Thread Ever.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything about ASoIaF, but have you ever been part of a conversation that just needed to be shared with the world?

WARNING! THERE ARE SOME SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T READ ALL THE BOOKS.

Previously I posted this about some of my theories:

 

I have since expanded that theory to say that Jon Snow not only was calling out to Ghost, Wun Wun, the boar, but also to his dragon.  Because Viserion is totally his dragon.  And I’m really serious about the kitten thing.  Princess Rhaenys has to be super crazy by now, but how awesome would it be if she figured out how to warg back into a human?  If only she had warged into Cercei before her fall.  Then a Targaryen would have been pretty much ruling Westeros again and that would have been awesome.

My oldest brother finished the 5th book yesterday (he was late to the game, but he’s all important doing smart stuff so I guess I’ll let it slide) and he posted this today which led to the best thread ever.

 

 

OK it starts out pretty tame– I think everyone agrees that he’s Lyann’s and Rhaegar’s son (if you don’t please post who you think is and why.  I would seriously love to know).  Let’s continue:

 

 

I pretty much agree with everything Patrick is saying here except for the Bran riding a dragon part.  I see him living out his life growing into a tree watching through the eyes of crows and weirwoods.  I’m also going to be seriously disappointed if Jon Snow ends up being someone totally normal.  And then there is “There must always be a Stork at Waterfall.” Yes.

 

If Rickon shows back up in the fashion that Daniel suggests that would just be. . .amazingly wonderful.

Patrick hits some good points again although I think Tyrion has a better likelihood of being a Targaryen then Jamie and Cercei.  One think I hadn’t thought about was what if Arya gets one of the dragons? She’s definitely a strong person and is learning all kinds of magic-y stuff.

Soooo many subplots going on– I need to reread once again to remember them all and perhaps imagine even more theories.  I do love this thought of if you could pick a castle/area which one would it be (don’t worry I’m sure Buzzfeed is creating a quiz as we speak.  There already is one if you count this one)

 

Seriously Patrick– we have never met, but agree on so much. Robert so should have been shoved out the moon door with his crazy mother.

Don’t worry, there are even more puns to come.

 

Yes, yes I would take Sunspear.

 

I told you the puns just kept coming.  My brothers have a very sharp wit.  Also I should explain: watchlings = people who only watch the series and haven’t read the books.

 

Who do you think Coldhands is?  As soon as I make up my mind something comes along to change it again. Follow up: Do you think Benjen is dead?

 

Any conspiracy theories about the obsidian?

 

There was even more to this thread, but I’m going to stop here.  Do you think Eddard was/could have been a warg too?  Or was this just something the kids had?  I think he probably just didn’t know he could, because not only do all of Ned’s children have this ability, but so does Jon Snow.  If I’m right about Lyanna and Rhaegar and also right about how dragon’s are controlled then that would explain how powerful a warg Jon Snow is.  Jonathan pointed out the obvious hole in my theory: the dragon horn.  If dragons are controlled by wargs then why is there a dragon horn.

My answer?

Option 1.  The horn is just a magical device used for someone who doesn’t have the warging ability, but needs to control a dragon (like dragonfyre when you don’t have a dragon).  This method really sucks for whoever they make blow the horn though.

Option 2. It doesn’t really work. It’s a cursed object that people want to possess and ends up killing them.

I lean towards option 1.

Also there’s always this explanation:

Weigh in if you have a theory you want to share or if you disagree with something that we’ve thrown out.